Meet Nerrissa
Born in Harlem Hospital and living in the neighborhood her entire life, Nerrissa J. is a true Harlemite, with ties to the community that remain strong. “The apartment in St. Nicholas Housing on… 8th Avenue, my grandfather was the first person to move into that building.” Her grandfather passed his apartment to her mother, “My mother has… four other siblings, so it was five of them. But… everybody started moving and doing different things, and my mom needed somewhere to stay, so my grandfather was like, ‘I'm gonna give you this apartment. I'm gonna move to Delano.’ So he ended up moving to the Delano Houses, and we moved into St. Nick. My mom passed away when I was 18, and I inherited that apartment… Now I pass it down to my daughter. So now [she] and her baby [live in] that apartment.”
Her start in the apartment was rocky, “I didn't even have a GED… I had a three year old baby, and I was like, ‘All right, she can't get her degree before me. So what you gonna do?’ The rent was backed up for six months. I didn't know how we were gonna pay the rent. Working with the management company, they knew my mother, so he was like, 'Don't worry, I'm gonna help you.' I applied for public assistance… and they approved me to get the back rent paid… After having [my daughter], my mom died and things changed, and the apartment was in my name. I was like, I got to do better for myself.” Nerrissa got her GED, then her bachelor’s, then went back to school to get her Master of Social Work. She currently is a social worker, and has been working with the city for 17 years. In addition, she has created her own business, I Self Express Too, stemming from her desire to give back to Harlem. It started with her writing. In 2016, she wrote Live, Love and Confidence, “A guide to build self esteem in girls and young women. It's an amazing read, and it's filled with positive quotes. It has over 60 short stories.” From there she started doing workshops in schools using the book as a guide for the discussions. With I Self Express Too she does motivational speaking, and organizes a self esteem awareness walk. This past Saturday was her 8th annual walk, which gathered in front of the Adam Clayton Powell Jr. State Office Building, listened to speakers, walked from 125th to 133rd Street, and ended with a gathering in a Harlem park. Even before I Self Express Too, she came up with Sassy But Classy in 2005 to give back to the community, organizing coat drives, scholarships, talent shows, and fundraisers.
“Harlem is colorful. We got style… You don’t have to be this one way… I love that about… the community that more people are coming out being who they are.”
Nerrissa has confidence in the person she is and what she can offer to the world, “Imma walk in the room. I'm not worrying about nobody else. I can be just that one person in the room of a bunch of people. And I'm going to network. Imma mix. Imma mingle. I'm gonna have a good time.” She attributes her confidence and the person she is to her mother, “And the reason why I'm saying this is because my mom, she had HIV. She was on dialysis, and she was also a drug user, but she was [functional]. She kept her apartment. It was always clean… She cooked… She always celebrated us… We always went to school with a corsage on… [There are] a lot of things that my mother did that really honed in on who we are, because I've got two sisters and a brother, and we’re all power houses. I'm just one of them… I love my mother for who she is. I never looked at her for her scars… or her mishaps. That was just a piece of my mother… Like she was just the bomb. So while I do want to contribute some of it to the Harlem community, she is the Harlem community… People loved Miss Vanessa. And one of the reasons why I think they loved her so much was because of her confidence, because of her self esteem, because of just her helpfulness…” Her mother made a program, Five Fresh Foxes, for Nerrissa, her sisters, and her brother’s wife and her two sisters who grew up in the building with them. She organized gatherings and activities, “Like, she did all the things that I… I'm doing now… working with the young girls. And my mother was the foundation for so much in my life.”
Growing up, her building felt like family, “Everybody in the building knew everybody and it was like, if you step out of line, oh, no, I can chastise you. My mother's okay with that. My father's okay with that… It was more family oriented. You could depend on your neighbors, you know, if you need them for anything. 'You have some sugar? Can I get an egg?'” She remembers the park that was next to her building where everyone would go, saying, “We went out there to dance. We went out to jump rope. We played hopscotch. Like, we did all these fun things that kids today, they know nothing about. You know, being a part of a dance group, I was the choreographer. We were called Strictly Business. And we would just dance all over the place… [including the Cotton Club].” She recalls always going to A&P that was on 123rd Street and 8th Avenue and stopping by the Lucy’s on the corner. And of course, she looks back fondly on memories made with her mother, “I lost my dad at 14, and then turn around, lost my mom at 18, right. So I've been on my own all too soon and just thinking about my mom a little bit. One of our favorite, favorite spots that she would take us… [was] Georgie Donuts on 125th… That was always our treat.”
“Colorful” is how she describes Harlem and her experience in the neighborhood. “Harlem is colorful. We got style… You don't have to be this one way… I love that about… the community that more people are coming out being who they are.” Nerrissa looks back on her continuing Harlem story with pride, describing it as “one for the books.” What she is most proud of is her children, “If I ain't do nothing right, I raise my kids. My oldest just got her master’s in mental health and sciences. My son, he just got a decent job at the VA hospital and he's an artist... And then I have my baby daughter [who received two full scholarships for college]. So God is amazing… I did what I needed to do.” She looks forward to more growth with her business, her family, and Harlem.